Logic vs. Stupid

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In assessing the withertos and whyfors of any major life change, functional people will inevitably find themselves weighing matters on the Logic vs. Stupid scale.

This paradigm, which I and my new friend (and two-person break-up support group sponsor) Pam stumbled upon during her three week tenure at my office*, is pretty simple: we all live life according to the Logic-Stupid scale.

Case in point: diets. Diets tend not to work, not because the science is shoddy or the meals are unreasonable, but because they're too damned logical. It's simple: consume better quality foods in smaller portions more frequently, and you'll lose weight and stay in shape. So simple, so logical. And yet, how often do people fall off the wagon and find themselves at Mandarin, chowing down on crispy Chinese chicken wings....(mmmmm.....crispy Chinese chicken wings....). Inevitably, the Stupid kicks in.

Funny part is, the scale is weighted towards Stupid. You can live a totally Logical life - like those who used to say it was impossible to be in love with two people at once, persons who then, well...you get the idea - and then completely fall towards Stupid, but if you're already terminally Stupid, it's pretty damned hard to shift over to Logic. Hence, why the city streets of the planet find themselves trod upon by the feet of thousands of terminal Stupids.

And by Logic, don't let images of Mr. Spock and Data fill your mind: I don't mean that you express no emotion or are a cold fish. I'm talking about pure life functionality. You can be the biggest goof-off out of your circle of friends, doing crazy things like, say, waking them up in Vegas to the strains of Katy Perry on your BlackBerry after two hours' sleep...but you are still capable of basic courtesies, can hold a job and pay bills**, and maintaining even elementary standards of health and well-being.

And also not breaking hearts needlessly. It seems stupid that so many amazing people - who, in the paraphrased words of Hedley, are not perfect, but they keep trying, because that's what they said they were going to do from the start - have had their hearts broken time and time again by complete douchebags, when what they deserve, each and every time, is the highest possible happiness, a level of love and joy that befits the effort, energy, and yes, Logic that they put into their relationships.

But I can understand the appeal of Stupid. Too much Logic can lead to life making a little...too much sense. This is especially true of people who pride themselves on functionality a little too much ("pride goeth before a fall"), which is why it's almost always those fundamentalist right-wingers who get caught getting serviced by a gigolo in the confessional.

A little bit of Stupid isn't bad, because Stupid provides the seeds of adventure, excitement, danger. Stupid is the source of all thrill issues everywhere. And as long as you're not hurting someone else in the process, Stupid adds sugar (and spice) to life.

What's the ideal Logic-Stupid ratio? Who knows? It's up to you. I'd think if you made a career from extreme sports, you'd need to be closer to Stupid just so you wouldn't freak out and break your neck. On the other hand, if you're just looking to be happy, and you've already got it - a great job, fulfilling relationship, amazing health - then maybe you should consider sticking with Logic.

So, ask yourself, where do I fit on the Logic-Stupid spectrum? That's my thought for the day, on this cloudy Easter long weekend.

(*which did lead to three weeks' worth of my stuff not getting done around the office...worth it, though. Pam is awesome: I'm in her fan club on FB)

(** and while we're on the subject, to one of my out-laws, who was talking smack about me to my ex about how much "growing up" I have to do and who may or may not be reading this, I may have had a period of being job-to-job, but I consistently paid the bills on my own place since 2001, supported your kin through her teacher's college attempts and launch of her business by giving her a place to sleep and food to eat, and moved heaven and earth to provide for my household while she was in it. So you and your high horse can both chew on that, hopefully one after the other. I'll let you decide which of you gets first bite, but I have my preference).